Safe in the confines of my hotel which also ended up being in a back alley with makeshift fires,three legged dogs and mad bony fingers!The lighting was better so the mad bony fingers didn't look so scary this time around.Leaving the hotel the next day the first thing that I noticed was the stench in the air.Imagine what human decay doused in cleaning products would smell like on a 100 degree day.And I don't exaggerate...for reals!!
If I was going to spend a day or two in Delhi I needed a guide or else I was going to either lose my mind or set one of these three legged mongrels on fire.Hey I'm only kidding-I love dogs!!!Especially the three legged variety.I would tell you about getting hustled by the ten yr old but that is of little consequence.The main thing is he got me to the tourist agency and they set me up with a guide for the day.My guides name was Dan short for Dangola!Dan took me around-he showed me Delhi's first mosque quwwat-ul-islam (1192-1316),the Red Fort that was constructed in 1638 and built by Mughal Emperor ShahJahan who also built the Taj Mahal and lastly to the Lotus temple run by disciples of the Baha faith.They believe there is one god and through time the manifestations of god appear in the world from age to age.In this age god has revealed himself through Baha u llah, whose name means "The glory of god" once inside the temple everyone remains silent to meditate.After the temple Dan took me to some handicraft markets-my job was to go in and waste there time pretending that I was interested in buying something.Once inside they take down Dan's car number and he gets gifts for bringing them business in the form of tourists.I had no problem wasting someones time for my new friend but after them bringing me tea and biscuits I felt kind of guilty so I bought some Kashmir tea.My host looked kind of disappointed and said something in a language that I couldn't decipher as I was leaving.Dan was so very grateful giving me an awkward hug.He asked if I wanted to come to his house for a "real" Indian dinner.I jumped at the offer since I was now starving and this is the type of experience I had come to India for.By now it was just after 6pm and the sun had already set.He asked if I liked beer and if I wanted to try Indian beer.I offered to buy seeing it as a fair tradeoff being that Dan was kind enough to invite me to his home giving me this amazing experience to write about.Once we picked up the beer Dan asked how I felt about Mutton.I told him that I have decided to become vegetarian while in India but if he wanted mutton please by all means pick up some mutton.One of my top three rules in life is never to deny one's craving for mutton.He smiled and told me he needed to stop off at the neighbourhood butcher to pick up the mutton.After zig zagging through traffic nearly getting pug washed between a bus and an elephant,zipping down alleyways,pedestrians leaping out of the way for there dear life,Dan laying on the horn closing in on the final lap of the Indian grandprix with a wild look in his eye.Dan really wanted his mutton!We arrived at the butchers....the alley was dark filled once again with makeshift fires and the stench of rotting human decay.Where is the butcher?Looking around,searching every corner of this alley I didn't see any neighbourhood butcher shop.Dan pointed at the far end of the alley.We proceeded...I see the silhouette of a figure in the darkness."What is he holding" I say to Dan.Oh my god he's holding an axe hovering above what looked to be a carcass of something that could have been human for all I knew.Dan jumped out of the car walking slowly towards the butcher.Some money was exchanged and after some chopping and laughing Dan had his mutton.
"So that was the butcher" I says to Dan.What was I expecting...A nice butcher shop nestled away in Connaught village.I tell Dan he is doing a fine job in preparing me for India.He gives me a confused look and shrugs his shoulders.We arrive at his house which is a one room garage which houses Dan,his brother,his wife and there new born baby.The meal is delicious,I thank them for having me as there guest and head back to the hotel.Tomorrow I leave for Kashmir!
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Holy mother you are braver than I am. I would have passed out if some guy i barely knew took me down a dark alley to another guy with a bloody axe.
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